Hey ya'll, a question I get so often "what's the worst thing that's happened during a wax?" people assume that since you're looking at buttholes all day, something's bound to happen right? Let's be honest, I don't get nasty people coming in to get a wax, I feel like if you care enough to wax you care enough to shower before your appointment. Have I had an occasional poopy butt? sure. I've heard the worst stories from other Waxers and I feel quite blessed to never have anyone full blown poop on my table.
But you asked, here it is, the craziest story I have from waxing. I have a client who comes to see me every 4 weeks, like everyone else. No problems, always a pleasure seeing her. One summer day she came in wearing a dress (a very smart idea if you're coming to get a Brazilian) and hopped right up on my table. We started chatting about life, how her husbands doing, the kids, etc. I laid one strip down along her inner thigh and as I came back around with a stick full of wax I saw him. There he was. Crawling outwards from her labia and up to her bikini line. An Ant. I panicked internally, I didn't want her to freak out or feel embarrassed so I laid the wax down on her bikini line and quite literally CHASED the Ant with my wax stick and stuck him to the stick and quickly threw him away. I continued on the wax like nothing happened, she paid, rebooked and left.
I know what you're thinking, how the f*** does an Ant or any insect really END UP IN A VAGINA? The only explanation I have for myself, knowing how clean she is, is that she mentioned being outside with her dog before she came in. I'm thinking she maybe sat in the grass, knowing she was coming in for a wax she wasn't wearing any underwear. If you were an Ant on a hot summer day and you saw shade within a dark place, you'd run towards it to. I thankfully have had no other run ins with any bugs other than the giant cricket in my ceiling light right above a clients head.
Okay I know why you're here, I have one more story. The story of the poo nugget, I can't lie I couldn't have chickfila nuggets for a hot minuet after this one. Another very normal, VERY clean client. Came in for her wax, got undressed and hopped on the table. As I was wiping a cleansing wipe over I saw what looked like a small-medium sized rock fall out of the top of her labia and onto the wax bed. It made a sound when it fell. I grabbed it with the cleansing wipe and as I did, it squished. To my horror it was not a rock at all but a poo nugget. I threw it away, waxed her and never said a word. I have no idea how it got so far up the front but it had made a home right inside her lip. What gets me is she didn't have any other residue and never has.
Being a Brazilian Wax specialist its my job to educate my clients, I always tell them to come to their appointment clean, freshly exfoliated and NEVER shave in-between waxes. At the end of the day we are professionals, there is nothing about our job that is uncomfortable for us. It's like going to the Doctor but waaaaay less invasive. We see 6-25 people a DAY. We understand how nerve wracking and strange you must feel showing a stranger your privates for a service. That's why we make sure you are 100% comfortable and after that first encounter you usually trust us with your deepest secrets, what's said in our rooms stays there. I feel like Gretchen Weiners, with my messy bun always full of secrets.
Truthfully I feel honored to be so trusted by my Clients. We have such good relationships, we cry and laugh together, go through all of life's obstacles. Your Waxer can quickly become one of your closest friends. We love what we do, we love that you're able to come in and vent about any and everything. If you ever get a wax and accidentally fart, just laugh it off. It happens to us all the time. We won't be snickering about it in the break room I promise you, this job is our livelihood. It's how we feed our families, we aren't going to blow it on a bad reputation of talking bad about Clients.
Until next time (but hopefully ant-free and no poo nuggets)
The Salina Esthetician,
Kat Jeske
xoxo
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